It's not me, it's you.

Human
Sebby
Cubby
Willow


**********



If a cat could actually talk, I guarantee you they would never apologize for anything and truly mean it. 

On some level a cat would always believe it was not their fault. 

Human Error.

Well have you ever heard of the term 'Cat Error'?

No.

Case closed. 

I have heard of  'Scaredy Cat & Copy Cat'

Propaganda, created by dogs due to their inability to be awesome. 

Having spent countless hours around cats, I can assure you that those two things are very true.

Are you saying I am a scaredy cat? 

No, you are more of a jackass.

I am a gentleman.

Gentleman Jackass.
You are constantly teaching the foster kittens bad things. 

If you don't like the smell of something, like icy cool gel for back pain. You attack the person wearing it. Which is ME!


I am trying to save you. There is evil in that jar. Pure stinky evil!

Wrong.

If I am not paying attention to you and start paying attention to Cubby, you attack him.

Cubby says bad things about you when you are not around. 

No, I say bad things about you.. 


You can only handle one brand of cat nip. Any other and you attack everything.

I can not be blamed for my catnip intolerance.



I am sensing a theme here. 
Maybe Sebby needs anger management?

There is no human dumb enough to teach a cat anger management course.


You try and steal my food. 

You steal my clothes and drag them downstairs. 

If something is in your way, you will knock it over. 

What do you have to say for yourself? 



Stop using that stinky stuff, pay attention to me, only buy cosmic catnip, share your food, put your clothes away, and clear me a path to everywhere. 

Clearly these are your issues. 

Clearly. 



Why do you feel the need to sit on my head and try to lick my eyelids when I am trying to sleep?

Why are you sleeping when you could be awake and petting me?

You have an answer for everything.

I am the answer for everything. 

I take that back, you are not a jackass. You are a smartass. 

I gotta be me.

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

 Stop it!

Stop what?

Those are unauthorized pictures!

Oh? my bad

 I did not give you permission to post those!

I understand what unauthorized means Sebby.
Problem is...
I own them.
And you.

Fine.


 












Fine what?

Sorry!

That's my boy.

Mean.. just.. Mean.