Despite all my rage...

Human
Ebony

This is getting ridiculous. 

What is? 

THIS! This cage! My abode, my apartment, the force field which blocks me ability to run like a mad kitty around the store!.

Oh that. 

Yes that. 

I'm working on it.

Work harder!

Why don't you learn to be held like a normal kitty!?

Why? Why should I conform to society? 

I'm different. Let me be different!

How do I carry you?

Like a baby bat.

How do you want to be carried ?

Like a baby bat. 

Exactly, I am not trying to change you. 

I am just saying that initially, the humans would like to be able to hold you. 
I will teach them how to hold you like you want, but you need to relax a bit. 

Not everyone knows how to hold you like a baby bat. 
Apparently there are many wrong ways. 

It's not that difficult. I try and help. 

You fail at helping, little miss squirmy pants. 

Well they are doing it wrong! It's all wrong. 

I'm bored. 

I have no friends. 

Why is that? 

Because I tell off anyone you put me with.

So whats the solution? 

Adoption.

Yes but before that? 

Carry me.

I do, but for the rest of the day what should you do?

Mope. 

Ebony!

I don't know!

Can I try bringing Charlie in again? 
He likes being held like you do.

He does? You never told me that last time!

I did, you were busy trying to act all mean.

You should add acting to my resume.

Sure. I will put it under Highly Dramatic. 

Stop typing and carry me human!