By Sebby
10. Cats do not require clothing
- no washing
-no ironing
-no clothes shopping
-no worrying about wearing the same outfit as someone else
-no need for closet space
-their pants always match their shirt
-they never grow out of their fur
-they are always in style
-they have never, nor will they ever put their fur on inside out
-no cat has ever looked at a pair of bell bottom or acid washed jeans and said.. hey these look good!
-a cat can never get a wedgie
UNLESS SOME TOOL DRESSES US UP LIKE DOLLS
9. Cats do not care if your butt looks big
-nor do they care if theirs does!
-or if your jeans are too tight
-or if you wear leggings..and you shouldn't cuz ur butts too big
- a cat will never tell you to put down the donut, though they will ask for some.. by ask I mean take
-your fat ass is just fine with a cat
-cats like big butts and we can not lie...
8. A cat has never bombed anything
-well stink bombs don't count
Humans are way worse at those too!
-Oh! and a cat will never blame you for a smell that they know is theirs!
7. Cats are not telemarketers
-I tried, they fired me..something about chewing the cords..
-A cat will never call you in the middle of the day trying to sell you anything
-Though we are learning to text
6. You never have to pay a Cat support/alimony
-though you should
we have catnip to buy
toys to replace!
-We have a standard of living we are accustom to !
5. Cats do not judge you based on what you own
-We don't care what your house looks like
-we don't care what kind of job you have, or where you went to school
-we don't care if you have fancy things
-we don't care what you wear
-we don't care if you drive a junk car, or have no car
4. Cats appreciate the little things
- like being petted
-being talked to
-a crumpled piece of foil
-a tiny treat
-a box!
-a ball on a string
-a blanket
-butt scratches
-catnip
-being beside you
-laying on you
-watching tv with you
-listening to music with you
-just being around you
-being in another room but knowing your close
-your clothing, laying in it
-when you meow back
-head butts
-when you let us sleep in the middle of the couch and you take the tiny chair
3. A Cat will never start a war
-we will never decide that all Calico's or all Siamese kitties should be killed
-Cats will never fight over oil, or other 'things'
-as stated before, we do not care what your religion is so we would never kill you for your beliefs (unless you believe in hurting us.. then we may have an issue)
-A Cat will never pull a trigger ( even polydactyls can't )
2. A Cat will never pretend to like you
-we do or we don't, we lack the ability to fake it
-you can't bribe us to like you, we will take the bribe.. but never act like we like you
-we wont be your friend just because you have money..
we don't care if you have no friends..because human friends are not as good as cat friends anyways!
1. A Cat will never discriminate
-we do not see peoples colour or race
-we do not see deformity
-we do not see gender
-Cats are not homophobic
-Cats see no physical or mental 'limitations'
-A Cat could care less if you look different than someone else
-Cats do not give a crap what society thinks
-Cats do not think you are stupid because you have problems
-We like you for you, and who you are is perfect
Face it... Cats are awesome
You know it
We know it
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