What do cats think?

I have no idea.
I would like to know, but in the meantime I enjoy pretending that I do.
No I do not actually think I can speak 'cat' It's just an amusing thing to reply when people ask a cat a question.
We tend to speak to our pets like they actually have the slightest idea what we are saying.. why we are saying it or what we are saying it for. After all how dare we assume to know what these superior beasts are thinking!..At least that is what I think a cat would think...

My cat Sebastian, if he were to be explained in human terms would be that guy you love to hang out with because he is cool... but don't get on his bad side because he will punch..or in his case bite and scratch you just because he feels like it.

I will probably speak of him a lot. I have other cats, and I am constantly fostering kittens but Sebby is my bad boy.. my sweet little jerk.

Getting back on topic.. If tomorrow there were a machine that translated cats thoughts into words what do I think would be some of their comments?

Cat - "Seriously? that's what you are spending your time on? getting into my head? Dumbass."

         "So you went out eh, what? not enough time to go get me something? maybe a box? a toy? a damn straw!. Do I mean nothing to you???"

         "I saw you out the window. You were speaking with a person. Who is that person, does that person have a box? Maybe a dog? If he has a dog then forget it.. he must be stupid."

         "Thanks for leaving the TV on for me. Next time could you put it on the Aquarium channel? Yesterday I got stuck watching some stupid kardashihoneybooboo bullshit. I have a brain you know. I could call PETA.. it was cruel and unusual punishment."

          "I broke my box. I demand a new one. And a new mousey.. the last one vanished."

          "I know you have seen the state of my food bowl! I saw you go in the kitchen to feed your own face. Feed me, now. Feed me now!!!!"

           "Who is he? I can smell another cat on you! I demand attention right now, no you may not take off your shoes! no you ...STOP MOVING I NEED TO RECLAIM YOU AS MINE! I shall do so by rubbing up against you like this. Don't fight it or I will bite you like this!. I warned you. Never leave me again.. accept now, I am done with you..go in the other room."

          "Human, hey human...HUMAN!!!! ...hi, pet me."

          "OMG omgomgomgomgomg the red dot is back!!!!! its back!! look its back!! im so gonna catch it this time! friggen thing. Who does it think it is running away from me like that..well I guess its scared! I am all mighty and powerful and would destroy him..it...er whateverthefuck it is. Fuck, it's gone. Until we meet again evil red dot..."

          "What are you looking at? stop it. STTOOOPPP IT! asshat."

...............................
I tend to think they would bitch a lot.. seeing as they are a slightly snotty creature. Vulgarity would be rampant in their communications.
Speaking to humans would only be done as a means to get what they want. Sure there are a handful of loving sweet cats who may care what we think. On whole though I think that once a cat is an adult it starts to see the humans as the pets.


Since this is my first post I will apologize for the grammatical errors ...lack of proper punctuation ..and improper use of .....

I will still continue to type this way, I will just no longer apologize for it. :)

Adding pictures,gadgets, links and other blog type stuff...when I figure out how...
Consider this a dilapidated & dysfunctional work in progress.

Until next time...meow.