9 Days Till Christmas - 99 Cat Facts - 21-33

21-33

 21. A Cat can move 1 ear at a time

That's when they pretend to ignore you.. Wait..are they pretending?

22. Cats have scent glands on their tail, paws, forehead, lips and chin.

Which they use to claim you.

23. A Cat named Rocky is - as I am writing this - rubbing the corner of the computer with his mouth..
I told him it was my computer time!

24. Adult cats do not generally meow at other adult cats. They meow at humans. Kittens meow to their mothers and Momma cats will call their kittens. 
My old cat named Cubby likes to meow because he wants attention, and because I think he forgets where he is...

25. In a litter of kittens there can be more than one father!

Sluts...kidding.. Man Whores.

26. If a Cat eats only dog food it will go blind. This is due to a lack of Taurine.

27. Kittens are born both blind and deaf.
Tiny scared little babies!

28. All Kittens initially have Blue Eyes

29. Cats can sleep 16 hours or more a day!
The life of a house cat..

30. You can thank Disney Lands 200 feral cats for the lack of rodents in the park!
They are all fixed and cared for by the park. They do not interact with the public

31. A Cats Purr may actually be used to exploit our nurturing behaviour.
It has the same pitch as a baby crying. Sneaky meows!

32. Your Copy Cat may be mimicking a snake!
Silly little hissy face!

33. Your cat may be sweet, but it actually does not know what sweet is! Cats do not have the ability to taste sweet things.
Cats are not for eating, so stop thinking that! I am talking about what they eat!

Conversation with Sebby : what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine

     Human

     Sebby

     Cubby

     Zulu

     Willow

 ******************

 (halfway down my font gets darker...I can not seem to fix it. I blame Sebby..apparently this is going to show up dark as well. )

That's mine, your mine, the couch is mine, the chair, stairs, food, toys, ledge, corner, window, floor. 

All mine!

What do you mean all yours? 

None of it is yours. 

It's mine and I share.

Stop rubbing up against the couch!

Mine

Get off of me.

Mine.

Don't scratch the chair!

Mine

Nomnomnom

You know what happens when you eat like that.

(Sebby snarfs his food then harfs on the floor)

Okay, that's yours.

Fix it human.

I'll fix you!

Already did!

Move over so I can clean up.

That's right human....

Okay moving on.... Sebby...

Yessss

I think we should talk about why you think everything is yours. 

Also, how you think you claim all of these things.

Okay, one condition.

What?

I want my cape.

You what?

My cape. I need it.

You mean the plastic bag you wear by sticking your head through the handles, then walk around like you are some superhero?

That's the one.

Fine, don't try this at home kids. Bags are not toys.

No they are capes!

No, they are not. You are just a special cat who seems to be able to wear a bag without harming yourself.

Because it's not a bag, its s cape.

I am Super Sebby!

Oh yeah? What are your super powers?

Sarcasm detection is one of them. 

That bag, it's mine.

I just let you think it is. 

I just let you think you can talk.

That's cuz you are a strange, strange human.

Indeed.

Back to this irritating addiction to claiming everything as your own.

He does it to us too.

What does he claim of yours?

Our sanity

Naw, you lost that, old man.

He is the reason I meow so much. I need to make sure you know where I am at all times, just in case he gets all bright eyed and evil tailed. 

So your safety ?

Kinda.

That's not cool Sebby.

Maybe not, but I still am. 

He steals toys and is a sloppy eater!

What is this, pick on Sebby day?

You are the one claiming you are Super!

I am super. Super Awesome!

Pft..whatever, show off.

Why can we never stay on topic?

I dunno, what's the topic?

Really?

Why you think everything is yours!

Well that's not mine.

It's a bill, of course it's not yours.

That's not mine, or that.

Remote, phone..you have no thumbs.

Ooo that's mine!

Back off! I am down to my last pen in this house!

Give me a flip flop and I will tell you where I hide them.

I gave you my old ones already.

Smells gone. Need these.

Not getting them!

Fine.

I really want to know, I need to know! Why do you think you own all of these things?

I dunno.

Horrible answer.

Owning everything is my Super Power.

Why not the ability to read minds ? Or x-ray vision. 

Well, who cares what humans think. And ick.. why would I want to see that?

Ability to fly?

Carry me.

Leap tall buildings !

What buildings? I can't you wont let me outside. Clearly you are stifling my abilities. 

I need help from some of my Super Hero friends.

You have no Super Hero friends.

How do you know? You aren't home 24/7

So when I leave you have a party with The Joker and Batman?

No. Thor and Deadpool.. I am a Marvel man. 

Couldn't just pick Cat Woman?

She's to Catty for my taste. 

Hilarious. 

My sarcasm detector is going off. 

It works well.  

Thor

Deadpool

That has nothing to do with cats.

You're just mad I used the comic version of Thor instead of the Human version.

Thor

Mean.

 Why cat's rub up against things

Maybe we should be proud that a cat chooses to rub up against us. 

Regardless of how she puts it.. I still think our cats believe we are big clumsy, and slightly stupid cats with whom they have decided to allow in their presence.